Chapter 13 : Fasting

Fasting believers spreading the warm message of Christ by burning cars – a yearly occurence in some European Updated Christian ghettoes.

(Matthew 6:16-18)

And in the holy months Jesus retreated to a grove of trees with his followers and started to fast, and then some of his disciples felt weakened and unhappy because of the hunger they had to endure. So they asked the Lord:

“Can we not eat something, o Lord, so we may feel more comfortable.”

But Jesus replied:

“Interrupting the fast is a serious sin, and you should not crave food but eternal bliss in paradise. But if you are not comfortable, you can always unload your burdens on the infidels so you may feel more at ease.”

And John the disciple asked: “How so my lord?”

And Jesus said:

“If you feel weak or unhappy, just do God’s work and he will reward you for it. Find a village with infidels and punish them for their intransigence. They will feel the wrath of the righteous, and have no mercy on them for God is harsh to those who reject him.67

But some were not convinced because in that region of Galilea there were much more unbelievers than believers, and they feared retribution. And upon hearing this Jesus said:

“If the infidels are too numerous, and you fear attacking them, then just make sure that you complain a lot about how hard your life is. Be sure to put on sad faces and make yourselves look horrible so that you can make it obvious to people that you are fasting. This will also unburden you. And if they grow tired of your complaining, then demand that they too join in the fasting. And if they refuse still, then perform only half of the chores your master demands of you, and tell them your weakness does not allow you to work any harder. And in this way they will notice you, as they should.”


Jesus asks his followers to make sure nobody sees they’re fasting, and “not [to]put up sad faces.” The hypothetical “perfect Christian fast” therefore goes by unnoticed. The Islamic holy month of Ramadan fasting however tends to result in a surge of terrorism and religious violence in the Middle East. The large muslim populations that have been invited in by socialist politicians in Europe are known to copy this behaviour (with mass burning of cars in Parisian suburbs for example). If there is no violence, you might still notice it’s Ramadan: some of your muslim colleagues at work will show clear signs of exhaustion and irritation once their sugar dip starts in the afternoon (thanks to the typical night-time Ramadan sugar-bomb snacking). However, there are many muslim employees who fast with dignity and refrain from whining so this is not universal.